Forgive and Forget

When a person refuses to forgive, he is locking doors that some day he might need to open. When we hold grudges and harbor resentment, who are we hurting the most? Ourselves.

Jim and Jerry were childhood friends but for whatever reasons, the relationship fell apart and they hadn't spoken for 25 years. Jerry was on his deathbed and didn't want to enter eternity with a heavy heart. So he called Jim, apologized and said, "Let's forgive each other and be done for the past." Jim thought it was a good idea and decided to visit Jerry at the hospital. They caught up on 25 years, patched up their differences and spent a couple of hours together. As Jim was leaving, Jerry shouted from behind, "Jim, just in case I don't die; remember, this forgiveness doesn't count." Life is too short to hold grudges. It is not worth it.

While it is not worth holding grudges, it doesn't make sense to be bitten time and again. It is well said, "You cheat me once, shame on you; you cheat me twice, shame on me."

John Kennedy once said, "Forgive the other person but don't forget their name." I am sure that his message was that one should not get cheated twice.

spoken words can't be retrieved

A farmer insulted his neighbor. Realizing his mistake, he went to the preacher to ask for forgiveness. The preacher told him to take a bag of feathers and drop them in the center of town. The farmer did as he was told. Then the preacher asked him to go and collect the feathers and put them back in the bag. The farmer tried but couldn't as the feathers had all blown away. When he returned with the empty bag, the preacher said, "The same thing is true about your words. You dropped them rather easily but you cannot retrieve them, so be very careful in choosing your words."

A pound of butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, amour Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question: Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make? Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves

Create Your Own ‘Vessel of Change’ by Shifting Your Words

           Words are nothing but the twisting and manipulations of their proprietor and they hold the power to squeeze tears from the hardest hearts or brighten the smile on the saddest face on earth. Words can inflame hope or evoke devastation; heal wounds or deepen the scars. Likewise, if manipulated deftly, Words are innocent, neutral, naive, precise but their reverberations are comprehensive, profound and infinite that embolden and enlighten our spirit and heighten the most empowering emotions. Words can be equally aggressive, and chaotic that erect the bridge across your incomprehension and frivolity towards the things around that make you a prisoner, perforate your skin, wriggle around your limbs, pollute your blood and maneuver your thoughts. The fine conscience of minute distinctions and delicate nuances of meaning of WORDS and TERMS are the entrance to the infinite wisdom of controlling your whole system of ‘Reactions and Responses’ towards situations.

             ‘Reactions and Responses’ towards WORDS create the man of success or certainly destroy him from the very derivation. Our unbridled dedication towards actions are initiated, inspired and influenced by the ‘selection of words’. A successful man chooses the words from the abundance of heart and rich tapestry of magnificent experience in the presence of witness.

            Linguists say that our personalities are shaped by words and we should now realize that we are the creatures of our perception and belief system that are actually formed by WORDS; therefore, choose the words that make you feel emotionally charged and psychologically transformational.

Let’s pick up some Words to experience how we feel:

‘Kindness’ stimulates warming feelings and reminds the world of ‘generosity’, ‘tenderness’, ‘bliss’, ‘integrity’ where hatred evaporates and aliens transmutes into trusting friends. Associate yourself with some greatest humanitarians such as Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi and Oskar Schindler who transformed the world with their universal benevolence and appreciative heart. Ultimately it passes an impeccable positive sentiment to contribute in creating the world a place of an eternal bliss.

‘Hatred’, an emotionally reversed atmosphere of kindness, incorporates negative sensation that glitters irresistibly in words like ‘revenge’, ‘sadness’, ‘abhorrence’, ‘cruelty’, ‘selfishness’, ‘jealous’, ‘hostility’, ‘war’ and ‘destruction’. It conjures up different things of what you have personal disregards for ‘I hate my job most’, ‘I hate my look’ or ‘I hate being in my disposition’, it reminds you of being a victim of hatred, or hatred advocators – Hitlar, who instilled the lust for war in German people by his disempowering words, Saddam Hussein, who promoted hostility in Iraqi citizens by his powerfully persuasive words. It infuriates you and numbs your other senses except prominent resonance – ‘hatred’.

How about ‘Cheerfulness’? – the personal SUN of happiness for enduring the darkness and synonymous feelings of ‘blithe’, ‘kinetic’, ‘energetic’, ‘buoyant’, ‘vivacious’ and ‘optimistic’ that stand as the solid wall against any destructive force to pierce you through. it summons the happiest moments of your life and leads you to the sea of delight.

‘Rage’ is a destructive energy, seeping out of your mind that is visibly protruded in words like ‘clenched-teeth’, ‘anger’, ‘furious’, ‘rampage’, and ‘vehemence’ which hosts the ‘wresting of wrath and violence’ within and snatches the self-controlling power to handle the circumstances wisely and peacefully. Ultimately you suffer the penalty of your own creation ‘Rage’.

Can you feel how instantaneously the intensity of your emotions can be altered by shifting your vocabulary? Light-hearted, quiet and spiritual person carry the weightiest words to be still in the ‘peak state of happiness’.

A Smile is a Curve that Sets Everything Straight

“A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.”- Denis Waitley

A smile can be best defined as “the universal language that speaks of compassion, the positive countenance that cures the wounding of grimace, the most exclusive curve that brightens the spiritual vivacity and lightens some heavier parts of the heart, and the source of joy in the hardest hours of grief and surmounting troubles. A smile is the most dominant antidote to stress and a powerful therapy that sends the message to body – ‘Life is wonderful and live it with utmost joy till the end’.

I really wonder what makes Kids to smile approximately 400 times a day; whereas adults average only 15 times a day. What happens to us that gradually decreases the number of smiles as we grow older? Scientists say, “it takes 26 muscles to smile while 62 muscles to frown.” Why do we still emphasize on frowning? Research shows that the person who smiles often lives an average of 7 years longer than those who seldom conjure a customary smile. Smile wards off stress, depression and sickness because of the release of endorphins (natural painkiller) and serotonin associated with the smile. Smile gives the sense of relaxation, triggers positive feelings of vitality and resilience, fosters emotional connection, boosts the immune system, lowers the blood pressure, prevents us from looking overwhelmed, or tired, and improves confidence. Ironically, we don’t seem to be convinced to relieve the stress with a smile.

Don’t forget the precious possession you own. Start off your day with the CURVE = SMILE to integrate humor, vigor and happiness into the fabric of life.